How to Face the Thoughts that Never Leave You

The answer is surprisingly simple

I believe we all have at least one pervasive, pesky thought that will bother us for life until we address it. And it’s not just any ordinary thought. It’s a thought that needs to become an idea and this idea must be turned into action in order to release you from its inevitable harassment if you try to ignore it. Let’s break this down, shall we?

A thought.

A thought is a reactive occurrence. It’s a mental impression, inspired by anything—a conversation, movie, trip, sleep, traumatic event. 

An idea.

An idea is a semi-proactive occurrence. It’s a collection of thoughts as a result of active or passive thinking. That’s why an idea is symbolized as the lightbulb suddenly turning on in your head. You don’t control the switch. But your process of thinking helped to flip it on.

An action.

An action is the bridge between making your idea become a reality.

The reality.

The reality is the fulfillment of your idea.

A simple example.

1. Thought: I’m hungry.

2. Idea: I should eat lunch.

3. Action: I make and eat a sandwich.

4. Reality: I ate lunch.

What happens if you ignore the pervasive thought? Well, here’s what won’t happen:

1. You ignore the thought.

2. Subsequently, the idea is not illuminated.

3. The action is never taken.

4. The reality is null.

Remember that an idea is a collection of thoughts. And the original thought is not a normal mental impression. It’s persistent. It’s pesky. And since this thought is resilient, it will keep nudging you. As a result, this one persistent thought becomes a collection of pesky thoughts that form an idea, without your consent. It forces the lightbulb to go on, whether you want it to or not. And now you’re challenged to bridge the gap between the idea its reality. An ultimatum has been thrusted upon you. Either you act on the idea or abandon it altogether.

Here’s the problem with abandoning the idea: The idea never abandons you. These swarm of persistent thoughts are like bees that buzz throughout your lifetime. And the more you swat, the more they sting. You might even get skillful at ignoring the looming idea, but every once in a while an external occurrence—a person or event—inadvertently or intentionally reminds you of your fearful avoidance.

Here’s what happens:

1. Ignore thought.

2. Thoughts multiply and persist, forcing idea.

3. Action is now ultimatum.

4. Reality is pending.

Has this ever happened to you? It has to me. Here’s mine:

1. Thought: A shameful past prevents many people from moving forward.

2. Idea: Help others redeem their honor.

3. Action: Create a map, content and safe space to help others.

4. Reality: People rise above their past to live again with purpose.

I took action by creating the Antihero’s Journey. This has been my pesky, pervasive thought that has challenged me to do something bigger than myself. It’s going on eight years since the Antihero’s Journey has evolved from a loose concept based on Samson’s story, to a 7-step paradigm (Samson7), then a registered trademark (formerly known as Gazamin®), to an online mini-library with ebooks and automated emails, to a name change (Antihero’s Journey), then a failed attempt at an online community (Antihero Circle), to a Masters thesis (and degree) to now what I consider an online clinic.

At one point I thought this was going to be my life’s work and pursuit, like Joseph Campbell. I was going to dedicate my life to deeply understanding the monomyth (Hero’s Journey) and then synthesize my own neo-monomyth (Antihero’s Journey) to transform lives. But life happens, priorities shift, new skills are developed and passions diverge.

Ever since I birthed my non-literary version of the Antihero process it has always managed to pop up in my life. If it’s not because of me, it’s because of someone who heard me at a conference or came across something I shared online and they insist I keep the Antihero idea alive. I’ve pulled the plug on the antihero website at least 3 or 4 times in the last decade. But somehow there’s something that keeps prompting me not to let it go.

And I feel like if I revive Antihero yet again, I must do something amazing with it. The Antihero Clinic must become a nonprofit (this was the idea once upon a time), it must change lives by the thousands, it must be monetizable, and its value will be validated by some sort of market acceptance ratio. Go big or go home!

And this, my friends, is why Antihero has lost its momentum time and again. I kept trying to leverage my idea as some entrepreneurial effort, instead of continuing to use the little I did have to help others with it. Not every idea is scalable, monetizable or even a ministry. Sometimes, your nagging ideas are there to help those around you. That’s it. And if it grows into something amazing, then that’s an added bonus.

Remember the pesky idea process?

1. Thought

2. Idea

3. Action

4. Reality

What I ended up doing was trying to make the reality greater than the idea, instead of focusing on the immediate, simple actions right in front of me. Nothing is wrong is dreaming big. But that doesn’t happen in the reality stage. It happens with the pesky idea you’ve already been avoiding. Chances are you’ve been running from it because it’s big enough.

A note on your dreams.

I’m not saying to kill your dream. In fact, the pervasiveness of this thought acts more like a dream than a conscious passion you want to pursue. Think about it. When you dream, it’s typically based on the thoughts and experiences you’ve encountered or focused while awake. But when you sleep, you don’t control your dreams just as much as you can’t control that pesky thought. So perhaps, the pervasive thought is actually your dream. Let that sink in.

But maybe you’re not ready to treat your pervasive thought as a dream. Then treat it as a hobby instead. And understand that hobbies weren’t designed to make you money. Hobbies are an expense. It’s not your job. A job equates to the time put in for work. And neither jobs nor hobbies are an enterprise. An enterprise eventually produces a greater return than the money you’ve invested. [The image below is from David C. Baker’s book, The Business of Expertise]

I have chosen to treat my Antihero Clinic as a hobby. If I’m asked to speak at an event (which I have), I may make some money from the engagement, but it’s still in the expense column—the cost of my time. I might come up with a revamped and groundbreaking paradigm for the Antihero’s Journey. It’s still a hobby. I might develop a sizable reading audience from using Substack and Anchor, which I now believe are more appropriate platforms for this idea to thrive. Still, this is a hobby.

It’s a hobby that helps other people. And if I can wrap my head around Antihero being an expense, I’ll budget my time and money accordingly, and reframe my thinking to enjoy doing the work for the sake of the work. And no, this is not even a ministry. Ministries are not hobbies. A ministry requires a level of dedication (time, energy and investment) and accountability to other people for the service you’re choosing to render. At this point in my life, I am not holding myself accountable to others for something that is now at the hobby level. And that’s okay (unless the pesky thoughts start demanding more of me).

If you can take that pesky idea that’s been bothering you and treat it as a passion project or hobby that you can pick up and put down whenever you want, you’ll be fine. However, don’t expect to reap the rewards from building a strong community or stream of revenue. If you’re looking for that, then take it a step further and apply some discipline to hobby. Turn it into a serious hobby by being consistent and sharing your work. You do that by choosing to dedicate a certain amount of time per week or month, commit to that time, share you work with someone, and then let it go until the next time.

What’s your pesky thought? Are you ready to embrace it?