This is an 8-part Antihero Overview Series, where you’ll learn and quickly apply key concepts at every stage of the Antihero’s Journey. You can find links to previous parts of the series at the bottom this newsletter.
We talked about rebellion being an art. When you rebel long enough, you transition from being a Rockstar to a Fallen Star. You start to get sloppy in your art of rebellion. What does that mean? Let's take a look at what happens after you've been exposed.
Stage Four: Ruin
The best way to work through this stage is a story. We'll eventually be using more anecdotes to navigate through your own story.
Enter: Mark.
Calling and Rebellion
Mark’s a great guy. He’s charming and amazing musician. Mark’s calling is healing others and he does it through music therapy. But he realized he could make so much more money and gain attention with another type of a healing. [*Cue Marvin Gaye's 'Sexual Healing' here*]
So he picks up gigs, cash...and women—all preferably in the same night, and in that exact order. Mark’s a rockstar.
But then Mark starts to get sloppy. He not only takes on commercial gigs, but starts to do jobs for charity foundations, churches and major philanthropic organizations.
Word gets around that Marky Rockstar does more than just play the piano. He propositions women who may have swooned over his music.
Mark uses his purpose for selfish gain.
Scandal and Ruin
Every antihero goes through a scandal, so let’s make it scandalous. We'll go with a stereotypical scandal to keep it simple. Mark impregnates the co-founder's wife of a prestigious nonprofit organization.
This isn't only bad for Mark, but also taints the organization's brand with rumors and negative press. Oh, and money is hemorrhaging, as they pay for PR experts to handle the situation and while supporters are also reluctant to donate in the wake of such disgrace.
Mark is shamed.
Isolation and Depression
Let's focus on Mark. He's now shamed for his reckless behavior. So what does he do? He separates himself from his professional community. Having a hard time believing that his family supports him, he distances from them as well. He has become a fallen star.
Mark is alone.
Recidivism: A Vicious Cycle Begins
With enough self-loathing and hatred, Mark believes he not only messed up big time, but that there's no possibility to redeem his life of social influence and respectability. So he repeats his ruinous cycle.
Recidivism is a fancy word for “repeat offender.” He begins to live the life of a man without any hope. Mark finds a place where his rebellious habits are accepted and even praised.
Not only is Mark living in ruin—he's comfortable in it. He's found a community that supports his shame and he's okay with living the rest of his life unnoticeable to the outside world of 'shamers'. How should Mark deal his ruin? How should you?
Mark comfortably lives in ruin.
How to Deal with Your Ruin
The difference between the man who overcomes and the man who doesn't is knowledge, belief and execution.
You need to know how the Ruin part of your story works and how you got there. You need to believe that your story is far from over. And you need to execute a plan for getting out of your rut.
1. Know your plot
The first step to dealing with your ruin is knowing how it works. It's not a hard science, but ruin is more predictable than you think.
Mark’s story is your story. It's my story. The details might be different, but the storyline is the same:
You were enlightened
You rebelled
You were publicly shamed
You disappeared
You lived an invisible life of mediocrity…
…OR you became really good at ruinous behavior
Own this plot as an antihero. It won't cure depression or isolation, but it will help you get an aerial view of what's going on in this wrecked part of your life.
It adds perspective. It'll give you direction. And it'll help you to break the cycle of ruin you're now living.
2. Believe in your whole story
The next step is believing that your Ruin stage is only part of the story. It's the ugly part, but just a part. You need knowledge to have belief. And belief is the precursor to all hope and passion.
Believing in your whole story creates hope within you. You slowly develop a firm expectation to become an honorable person once again.
When you start to believe, your language will begin to change. Start with these examples after digesting the ruined part of your story.
Change your perspective and activate belief from:
It's over... to It's not over.
I'm messed up... to I messed up.
I can never be... to Here's where I want to be.
If it happens, it happens... to I expect to be(come).
I don't know how... to Here's how I'm going to get there.
It's important to note that what you want to do and who you want to become isn't arbitrary. Remember the Giver? He has big stake in your personal redevelopment. As we dive deeper into the Antihero's Journey, we'll address his role in all of this.
3. Execute a story plan
This one gets answered in the next two phases of your journey. Once you have hope for a better ending to your story, you begin to feel a few emotions:
Remorse for the hurt you've caused
Desire to be a better person—an honorable one
Discomfort in repeating your ruin cycle
This was a lengthy one, but I hope it was worth your time. We're heading to the shift in your story that will change everything.
Rise above the ruin,
Chris Bartley